My teen is lying about sex

As a parent, your child's safety is likely to be your first concern. You want to know the truth so you can address problems of unsafe behavior, whether it is substance use, sex, risky activities, or even petty crime. How can you know when your teen is lying? The bad news is that research published in shows that most of us have a fifty-fifty chance at best of detecting when somebody is lying unprepared, and it is even worse when a child has had time to prepare their lie. Even if you have placed a high value on always telling the truth, lying is part of normal human behavior.

Depressed teen girl consulting with a psychologist. Child sexual abuse is a very sensitive topic. Instances of child sexual abuse can fracture families, tear communities apart, and leave emotional scars that linger for decades. There is one facet of child sexual abuse that is particularly sensitive, but must be discussed honestly nonetheless. That is: kids do sometimes lie about sexual abuse. While that is a humanistic perspective and certainly one that should be pursued and upheld, it does not mean that all alleged victims are blameless all the time.

The child who is developing more complex thinking abilities now has a better set of tools to use in being deceitful. Also, teenagers have more freedom and independence than they enjoyed before, which means more opportunity to make choices they might want to hide. Why do people lie and deceive? In many cases, they may be attempting to avoid responsibility for their mistakes or misjudgments.

For many years, my brother and I went on a spring backpacking trip in the North Cascades. When my daughter was 17, we took her and her boyfriend on a four-day trip. My daughter and I slept in one tent and my brother and Gabe slept in the other one.