If you hadn't already gathered, giving her a prod in the back probably isn't enough to get her going. But if you're finding that your other methods of seduction aren't quite cutting it, new research might have figured out why and found a solution. For the study, researchers had 64 women watch a series of erotic videos while they were hooked up to a device that monitored physical markers of arousal pulsing in the vaginal canal and increases in blood flow to the clitoris. The women also indicated how turned on they felt throughout the video by pressing a button when they feeling more or less aroused. The two measurements were then matched up. They found that women who had trouble getting turned on tended to have more alignment between their genital arousal and their mental arousal.
How to Get in the Mood for Sex When You're Not Feeling It
You've worked all day, come home to cranky kids, a rambunctious puppy, six loads of laundry, one dinner plus cleanup and two rounds of homework. Finally, the kids are in bed, the kitchen is clean and the dog is snoring. That's when your husband reaches over and strokes your cheek, staring into your eyes with that expression you know so well. He wants to have sex. But all you want is a glass of Chardonnay and a good book followed by a deep dive into sleep. Unlike many men, women's bodies don't immediately leap to attention at the thought of sex. Often, we come to embrace the idea in a pretty roundabout way, sometimes for reasons that have nothing to do with passion or desire.
If I need to take a break from my kids for a few hours, I can often arrange for someone to come help out. After talking to experts in the field and doing a little research, I found some great ways to get yourself in the mood. Maybe I need a bath, a massage, a cup of coffee and a cookie, or just a few minutes to myself. Whatever I do, I do it with the intention of preparing for sexual pleasure.
Don't forget to pin this for later and follow Redbook on Pinterest for more sex and relationship advice! The scene: You're coming home at the end of the long work day, exhausted, and want nothing more than to put on your favorite sweatpants and eat cereal out of the box with your bare hands. Except, wait, not really — you also want to have sex. But, like, that can't possibly happen — not with the kids, not with work stress, and certainly not with the fact that your body feels like the zombified version of its former self. There are ways to get turned on and feel sexy, even when everything around you seems to indicate that zero sex is going to happen.